The Hat

Today I was cycling on the pavement on the way home from doing some dastardly dealings in town, when a police car came up the road.

I saw they had seen me and the car slowed and the window wound down.

In my head I thought “Oh bloody hell, its too late now might as well carry on until they stop me.” So I did, fully expecting a £50 fine for cycling on the pavement, as is the law round these parts.

The police car and I are completely level now and the officer inside leans out of the window and shouts “OI”

I shit myself because I wasn’t expecting that.

He continues… “NICE HAT!”

And then drives away.

This sealed the deal for me…

I HAVE A MAGIC HAT!

Everyone loves the hat.

It has made chavs respectful

Made people want to sleep with me.

And distracted the police from my law breaking.

MAGIC!